Loss

"God knows I tried, I fuckin' did - something must have distracted me, I don't know what fer chrissakes - but something fucking must have; I turned around and ya were gone - fuck 'n shit 'n bollocks - just like that, in a fuckin' instant. I took my eye off the fucking ball for a second - and I lost ya." (Memoirs of a Disillusioned Solipsist, part III.)

Sometimes

Sometimes there is nothing; always there is everything; sometimes there is everything; always there is nothing.

Empty

Sometimes the head is an empty vessel - nothing; we may find ourselves devoid of ideas, inspiration, creativity. Bereft and hollow - it may feel like the wellspring of fresh thought has dried up; the fear may be that we may never produce or make again. Personally I have never invented a cure for all ills, never devised a recipe for world peace, never dreamed up the perfect vision of beauty. Unfortunately stationery cupboard re-organisation duties here at the Institute prevent further interrogation of this issue, but do feel free to post ideas that you may never have had.

Twat

Yesterday I saw you

Staring out, looking - registering; do you see me, like I see you? Do you see me like I see my myself; do I see you the way you see yourself? Looking out, staring; watching what comes and watching what goes - focus on this moment and then the next; keep breathing, keep watching - do you see me, like I see you? Just keep breathing - say nothing..............

The unfamiliar

Many of you may be familiar with the concept of 'das unheimlich' (the unfamiliar, unhomely, or uncanny) as elaborated by Sigmund Freud. This may be manifested in a number of ways, for example seeing a hat-stand as a threatening person lurking in the shadows in that brief moment of non-recognition before its real identity becomes evident. Several days ago I was attacked by a hat-stand, which also stole my DVD player - the fucking bastard. You may also have similar experiences which you are very welcome to share here.

Owls, ownership and commodification

Owls, contrary to popular misconception, cannot rotate their heads through 360 degrees. Should you find that your owl is capable of this feat, the chances are that its head has become detached from its body for some reason. Owls do not make good pets - I don't speak with any authority on this subject; I have never owned an owl - but it is a belief of mine. I guess I could be persuaded otherwise by someone of greater experience (or indeed any experience) in the business of owl-ownership - I am still of the conviction, however, that to try and treat an owl as an object of ownership is against my ethical nature and, possibly, morality. I would suggest that this poses a question of the ethics of ownership and commodification in general terms, but furniture moving duties and night security here at the Institute prevent me from delving further into this issue. Do feel free to post details of your favourite avian species, however.

Special Needs

Y'see, I never really had a clue, ya know - all these things just came 'n went - never really touched me in any kinda way. I always thought I had it all sussed - like I really knew the fuckin' score, ya get me - like I was this fuckin' 'special one', but recently I've come to realise that pretty much like you, I know fuck all - d'ya see? (Memoirs of a Disillusioned Solipsist - part II).

Meagre means

Three pieces of cheese, a dried up slice of sopocka, two slices of stale bread

Beware

Beware of those who would persuade you otherwise; beware of empty rhetoric - beware of those who have the answers, beware of those who do not know. Beware those who would apply labels, beware those who do not opine. Beware the planners and schemers, beware those who would dub you paranoid; beware the shallow and morally bereft, beware the ethical - beware those who seek to lead, beware those who are afraid of power; beware men of vision, beware those who refuse to see; beware all impostors, beware those who believe themselves to be genuine; beware ego, beware self-effacement. Beware the truth, beware deception; beware those who seek to confine - beware those who would tear down the walls; beware revolution, beware those who preserve the status quo; beware those who have faith in the system, beware systems in themselves - beware the autocrat, beware the anarchistic. Beware those who administer, beware those who withhold, beware contact, beware withdrawal - beware the handshake, beware the smile - beware the familiar, beware the strange - beware all; beware none.

Classification of Cheeses

There are many different kinds of cheese, emanating from a multitude of different countries of origin - I won't be listing them here due to the various demands of running the Institute. Please feel free to post your favourite cheese, however.

Is This You?

Broken, damaged, shattered and splintered - worn, torn, dishevelled, detached; disparate, separated, distanced, disenfranchised. Unknown, unconcerned, untouched and uncaring - impassive, dispassionate, disdainful, ignorant; cynical, exploitative, thoughtless, crass............etc.

The aesthetic of appropriation

Is it wrong to covet other people's ceramic ornaments - would it be unacceptable to pretend they were our own, if only temporarily? What if a shelf were put up or a small display cabinet constructed and for five or ten minutes, say, we might cravenly exhibit or display these appropriated objects and indulge the pretence of ownership - would that be so wrong?

Two sticky labels and a rubber band

Dog Turd (Reprise)

Then again, standing in a dog turd is an act that requires some consideration once it has occurred - and, it could be argued, it is lamentable; perhaps, also, not silent.

Dog Turd

Small, unconsidered and unthought - an insignificant thing, unworthy of due concern; no duty of care may apply here. Left, unheeded, the elements may wash you away - a silent passing; unlamented - how many other losses, just like yours - no bell will toll, no pyre will mark your final exit - an unremembrance; forgotten.

Drawing the Abject

Disrupted Progress

The other day whilst walking home my progress was disrupted by an apparent tendency for my left foot to adhere to the pavement as if an additional, supplementary, gravitational force was inexplicably pulling on the left side of my body. This disturbed me slightly and upset my customary sense of equilibrium. Perturbed, but not terminally distracted by this eventuality, I stoically and steadfastly continued on my journey - determined not to be put off course by this unforeseen circumstance. Finally I arrived at my destination and upon taking off my left boot I discovered that a piece of discarded chewing gum had become stuck to its sole - this took several minutes to remove with a kitchen knife.

Socks, like swans, pair for life - this makes the loss of one half of their eternal partnership, for example somewhere in the maelstrom of the washing process, an unbearable disaster. One that is, for the most part, ignored by the thronging masses - too frantically engaged in materialism and rampant consumerism, pushing inexorably towards a dystopian ideal; oblivious to the plight of the lone sock as it pines and mourns for it lost soul (sole?) mate.

Finding Myself

54deg35minN,01deg13minW;53deg47minN,01deg45minW;53deg58minN,1deg6minW

'See, the big words - they're far away; 'n these small guys, well they're much nearer. This is what ya must understand - 'cos unless ya do, some clever fucker'll just mess with yer fuckin' head - ya get me? Don't forget; I'm always watchin' ya.' (Memoirs of a Disillusioned Solipsist)